october 31st

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE :)

what is everyone doing this scary night?

SPEAK NOW!

Sorry i haven't posted in a while, life has been stressful.
I got taylor swifts new C.D. called "SPEAK NOW"...and let me just say I LOVE IT. :)

" 'Speak now or forever hold your peace,' the words said by preachers at the end of wedding ceremonies all over the world, right before the vows. It's a last chance for protest, a moment that makes everyone's heart race, and a moment I've always been strangely fascinated by. So many fantasize about bursting into a church, saying what they'd kept inside for years like in the movie. In real life, it rarely happens. Real life is a funny thing, you know. In real life, saying the right thing at the right moment is beyond crucial. So crucial,in fact, that most of us start to hesitate, for fear of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. But lately what I've begun to fear more than that is letting the moment pass without saying anything. I think most of us fear reaching the end of our life, and looking back regretting the moments we didn't speak up. When we didn't say 'I love you.' when we should've said 'I'm sorry.' When we didn't stand up for ourselves or someone who needed help. These songs are made up of words I didn't say when the moment was right in front of me. These songs are open letters. Each is written with a specific person in mind, telling them what I meant to tell them in person. To the beautiful boy whose heart I broke in December. To my first love who I never thought would be my first heartbreak. To my band. To a mean man I used to be afraid of. To someone who made my world very dark for a while. To a girl who stole something of mine. To someone I forgive for what he said in front of the whole world.Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back together. I hope you use yours for good, because the only words you'll regret more than the ones left unsaid are the ones you use to intentionally hurt someone. What you say might be too much for some people. Maybe it will come out all wrong and you'll stutter and you'll walk away embarrassed, wincing as you play it all back in your head. But i think the words you stop yourself from saying are the ones that will haunt you the longest. Say it to them. Or say it to yourself in the mirror. Say it in a letter you'll never send of in a book millions might read someday. I think you deserve to look back on your life without a chorus of resounding voices saying 'I could've, but it's too late now.' There is a time for silence. There is a time waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now." Taylor Alison Swift <3

From each of her 14 songs on her CD im going to post my favorite lyric/phrase on that song to share with you..cause all i can say, is that CD really inspires me :)

1. "Do you remember we were sitting there by the water? you put your arm around me for the first time. you made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter. you are the best thing that's ever been mine"

2."Drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain, kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain! cause i see sparks fly whenever you smile. Hit me with those green eyes, baby as the lights go down..give me something that will hold me when your not around"

3. "so this is me swallowing my pride. standing in front of you saying im sorry for that night. and i go back to December all the time. turns out freedom ain't nothin but missing you, realizing what i had when you were mine. and i got back to December turn around and make it all right, i got back to December all the time"

4. "Don't say yes, run away now. I'll meet you when you're out of the church in the back door. Don't wait or say a single vow, you need to hear me out. And they said speak now."

5. "Dear john, i see it all now that you're gone. Don't you think i was to young to be messed with. The girl in the dress cried the whole way home. Shoulda known."

6."Someday i'll be livin in a big ole city, and all you're ever gonna be is mean. Some day ill be big enough so you cant hit me. And all you're ever gonna be is mean. why you gotta be so mean?"

7."Now im standing alone in a crowded room. and we're not speaking. and im dying to know is it killing you like its killing me, yeah? i don't know what to say since a twist of fate when it all broke down. and the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now. next chapter."

8."Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up. Just stay this little. Oh darlin don't you ever grow up, dont ya ever grow up. Just stay this simple. I wont let nobody hurt you, wont let nobody break your heart. No one will desert you, just try to never grow up."

9. THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG:) "All i can say is it was enchanting to meet you, you're eyes whisper have we met? cross your room, your sillouhette starts to make its way to me. the playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy. And it was enchanting to meet you. All i can say i was enchanted to meet you."

10. "Shes not a saint, and shes not what you think. She's an actress, woahh. Shes better known of the things she does on the matress, woahh. Soon shes gonna find stealing other peoples toys on the playground wont make you many friends, she should keep in mind..she should keep in mind, there's nothing more that i do better than revenge."

11. "Wasn't it easier in your lunch box days? always a bigger bed to crawl into. Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything, and everybody believed in you? Its alright just wait and see your string of lights are sitll bright to me. who you are is not where you've been, you're still as innocent."

12. "COme on come don't leave me like this. I thought i had you figured out, somethings gone terribly wrong. you were all i wanted, come on come on dont leave me like this, i thought i had you figured out. cant breathe whenever your gone, can't turn back now im haunted."

13. "I never thought we'd have a last kiss. Never imagined we'd end like this. You're mean, remember the name of my lips. I do remember the swing of your steps. The life of the party, you're showing off again..and i roll my eyes and then you pull me and im not much for dancing but for you i did."

14."long live the walls that crashed through, all the kingdom lights shined just for me and you. I was screaming long live all the magic we made. and bring on all the pretenders one day the world we remembered."

there's a reason

God is great isn't he?
Even though my life sucks, im glad he gave me the life i live because without it, i wouldnt know so many amazing people, learned from so many mistakes, and grown in my relationship with the Lord. Whoever is reading this i hope you know that God loves you sooooo ubber much, its undescribable. Also know that even though life gets tough and sometimes you just with you could quit, dont give up. Because God puts you through things for a reason, and when all is said and done you'll be stronger and more relatable. Thanks God for hard times, honestly they make me grow even though i hate them!

music

Imagine life without music?
Basically my whole life revolves around music, i sing...well you singing is music so i couldn't do that. i dance and dancing wouldn't even have been invented without music, the majority of dancing i do is to music.. when i come home from school what do i automatically do? listen to my favorite music and relax. Music takes me to a different place, it takes me somewhere i'd rather be. Life without music would be sad, lonely, and there would be no imagination. People become famous because their talents revolve around the music industry, where would they be without music? where would i be without music? well first off, i'd feel like i wasn't given any talents...cause basically all my talents belong to music. second of all how would i express my love to the Lord? cause worship is my main way of showing thanks to God. Third of all i bond with people and grow relationships just based on our love for music.
God thank you so much for creating music, you have no idea how awesome it is that you brought such an amazing thing into all our lives:)



535th post:)

felt like it

Just a fraction of your love fills the air
your the light that feeds the sun in my world
I don't wanna go back to just being half of the equation
Shoulda known you were trouble from the first kiss
Throw my hand on a blade
I'd jump in front of a train for ya
Yes i would die for ya baby, but you wouldn't do the same
Gave you all i had, then you tossed it in the trash
Your all i had
I sit by myself, talking to the moon
Trying to get to you
And hold you on the other side
we're always proving who we are
always reaching for the shining star
out here on my own
baby belong to me
help me need you

my hero:) W.T.J.

wesley.tyler.johnson.
My older brother, 19 years of age.
He's my inspiration & my hero:)
He's gone through SO much, and yet he's come out of it still loving God...he's lost quite a lot, but he inspires me to keep going. Cause no matter how hard it was for him, he kept moving forward. To this day he's striving for his dreams, of becoming a famous actor. GO WES:)
I just can't explain how much i look up to this boy, there's just something about older brothers..no matter what they do or who they are, you'll always love them:D

God created you in His image:)

Your opinion on me does not matter, if God loves me and i have good friends & family surrounding me i could care less what you think. Just remember to hate me, is to hate what God
created.

Recently, I've been feeling pretty down. I've been really hard on myself, and that doesn't really help me at all. I've been feeling really ugly & worthless to a lot of people. So instantly i cry about it all (which helped), but i went to God and just prayed to him "God, what in the world do i do? I feel ugly, and i hate the way i look..i know i was created in your image, and should be happy and accept the way i look but sometimes i just feel invisible to others. I want to be like the other girls i hangout, the ones who get all the attention..but you didn't give me that blessing. And im trying to accept that fact, but its so hard. I also know you made me the exact way i was meant to look, and just teach me how to love your creation."
I prayed that for a while, but i kept getting more and more discouraged.
My dear friend michelle quinto said some pretty darn impactful words:) When i was having a bad day, she was the one there for me. And i thank you for that girlie. i love you.
now to share what she sent me in a private message


"So check it out, if you belong to God, that means your his daughter. Which also means, that you will have his "family resembilance." You are his girl, and the two of you are a team. However, if one person on a team is distracted(like, for an example by beauty) how on earth would the team be able to make it without the other player?? can't happen!

Here, picture with me if you will; You do not belong here. Your real home is in heaven. Correct? sooo, that would mean that we are aliens here, and we will always stick out like a sore thumb in the crowd. Okay, so what on earth does this have to do with beauty? Because if we have this unique, and higher calling, why should we care whether or not we're on the runway! In Gods book, you are his precious angel, man! he'd give his life for you! So if we are this special, why go to waste? use up all that you got, even if it isn't perfect! were not here to please people, were here to please God, and love him, and gloify him with everything you got. You'll always be enough for him. you knoww?"

So love what you have and what you don't have, don't be to hard on yourself. And know that it doesn't matter what other people think, As long as Gods happy with you than i really shouldn't give a crap on the rest of the worlds opinions:)

of course.

Ever had just one of those super crappy days?
yeah well i'm having one.
:(

a good weekend.

so i thought this weekend was going to be boring! I WAS SO WRONG!
so friday was boring, but i watched movies and had pizza with my mom. So it was boring but a good day:)
saturday was boring at first then i went to 5th quarter, and that thing was freaking fun. me and jordan dressed up as laker & dodger fans...and at first i didn't want to, but then we found these wigs. Red mullet wigs, they were AMAZING. so we wore them, and took pictures. we couldn't stop laughing that night, and carmel apples are quite the memories with me and her:) then i slept over at her house.. that was fun too:)
onn sunday i went to church, DUH! then went over to linneas house until like 9. and we worked on our stupid AP human geography project, and i had to dress up as an indian woman and use self tanner on my face. I now completely understand why God didn't make me as a black person,
overall good weekend:) yay!


530th post:)

quotes.

When love is lost, do not bow your head in saddness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal.
God can heal a broken heart, but He has to have all the pieces.
Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.
:)

everything reminds me of you

Dizzy.

That’s how you feel when you run into a significant other you haven’t seen in a long time. A bitter avalanche of icy memories plows into your chest at breakneck speed, stealing the very breath from your lungs. Gasping for air, there’s really no use fighting it; the blow is instantaneous and it’s overpowering. Your eyes land on this person, your heart immediately stops dead, your knees go weak and you internally panic. You force yourself to walk over, but before either of you say hello, you’ve already got an endless amount of things you secretly want to say and an equally lengthy list of questions you wish you could ask.

What affection the two of you once shared was absolutely beautiful, consequently rendering any unanticipated meetings thereafter twice as awkward. But as everyone always reminded you, life has a way of operating, God has a mysterious way of working, and sometimes things change without a moment’s warning. Even after it was all said and done, it’s still hard to imagine how things could’ve ever evolved from “always” to “never” in what seemed like a single dramatic heartbeat.

Months and months later, you run into this particular person unexpectedly and the realization hits you like a brick wall. The pain is still there. It’s almost as painful as the night you said goodbye. Enough time has passed to con you into thinking you’ve begun to heal, and of course you probably have, but then you see this person and suddenly those old familiar aches begin to hurt all over again. You were finally beginning to mend after what happened, the relationship withered and ended, however dramatically, but the moment you lock eyes with this person you once shared so many dreams with, your stomach turns and a bitter taste fills your mouth. You can barely breathe. Half of you aches for things to be the way they once were, the other half longs to forget the whole thing ever happened. Regardless of your role in the conclusion of the relationship, it left you shattered and bringing it up after all this time would only pour another dose of potent heartbreak for both of you.

So there you are, standing face-to-face, unsure of what to say aside from the typical small talk jabber. A myriad of emotions swirl through both your heads but they only make former lovers more confused. Maybe you hug an awkward I-haven’t-seen-you-in-forever gesture, but that familiar mixed scent of perfume and cologne makes it even more impossible to know how to act, brief as the impending conversation inevitably will be. You just can’t stop thinking “things will never be the way they used to be” and that’s what hurts most. You both know where your identities lie, Who ultimately claims your hearts and where your fortresses are… and those things are truly what matter most, but this unforeseen meeting is still severely painful and there’s no denying that. It keeps you both awake for nights.

this was written by adam young(owl city), and i absolutely fell in love with it. He can write like no other, he's one sexy man. i love you adam young, you're beautiful.

one of those days.

Ever have those days where everything inspires you, and all you want to do is take a walk and just listen to everything around you?
well today was one of those days for me.